Undeniable truth

'So if you're not meant to plan your life, what is God teaching you while you are here?'

The question rang in my ears for a few seconds as I tried to think how to answer...

Trust me. The undeniable answer is Trust in Him. 

My daddy, my King, my brave, fierce, wild and gentle Lion, the one I am constantly being surprised by and in awe of: Jesus. 

I started the answer with the honesty of having a life planned out at the age of 18. University, marriage, life with my husband. 

Then I moved on to 20; breakup, plan shattered and then pictures of hidden pathways in Jerusalem, cliffs that curve into the unknown, Isaiah 42:16 and huge shadow producing walls that I am being given wings to fly over...but all in the dark. 

Because He is asking me to Trust Him. 

To run in the knowledge and faith of what He has given me. To see that He surrounded me by people who love, that He placed me in my dream job, that He talks to me everyday and loved me endlessly, that He gave me the best family, the best parents and brother and sister-in-law. 

So He is teaching me to Trust Him. 

In the promise of my future/ in relationships: marriage friendships family/ in money/ in work/ in life. 

The eyes around the dining table were on me as I spoke and I couldn't get away from the feeling of awe in where I am, in what I have been given and what He is doing. 

My heart is aching because He gave me so much. 

Jesus gives me so much. 

I stopped talking, silence, 'stop staring at me now please' I ask, and then I am left, alone in my brain to think about how awesome He is. 

How I don't know if I will ever be able to understand just how good He is.

So i am always going to be learning; trying to figure out how to do this. how to trust. 

R\